What the Hell is this?
In a nutshell (get it...NUTshell), it's your opportunity to claim that you have accomplished some completely unbelievable endurance feat and then, have the opportunity to let a jury of your peers vote on the likelihood that you indeed accomplished that thing. Here's how it works.....
Once you register, you will receive an email invitation to the private Benfered Facebook Group That's where you and your peers can post "proof" of your questionable feats and cast your votes. Then, on Oct.1st 2020, all votes will be tallied, and the most (un)believable liar will be awarded the coveted Benfered "Highly Suspect" award. This will most likely be a one-of-a kind, finely crafted, gem-encrusted crown or scepter. Or something from the RD's kitchen junk drawer. Whether you win or lose, everyone will get some sweet swag---so quit yer bitchin! All participants, credible or not, will receive an attractive Benfered T-Shirt suitable for wearing when competing at the Olympics or Running of the Bulls, along with a unique Benfered Participation Medal made out of.....real friggin' metal.
Why compete in the Benfered
So you claim to have been the first person to have run around your hometown with your underwear filled with pizza flavored Combos? Want to brag about the time you cycled 17.6 miles with a rare albino ferret on your shoulder? Or how about the time you broke the record for longest time looking for one's keys in a kitchen (3.271 hrs) only to discover that they were still in your damn hand? We all want to hear about your REAL and amazing feats of endurance so prove it!
Now is your chance to share the rarefied air typically reserved for the most likely full of sh-t Ultra Endurance Athletes who claim to have pulled off some highly skeptical feats. Running 135 miles through incredibly harsh environments with no sleep? Swimming for 2 MILES without the aid of swimmies? Cycling across entire states or even countries?? Puh-leeze. Do you think we're that gullible? This event is for REAL endurance athletes accomplishing REAL feats of endurance.
How to compete in the Benfered
Once you register for the Benfered, you'll get an email asking for your Facebook name so we can send you an invitation to the top secret private Benfered Facebook Group. There you will submit descriptions and supporting BS pictures of as many questionable endurance feats of yours as you like - but please, nothing dangerous, illegal or heinously immoral. Then, using the very scientific and highly acclaimed Laughing Emoji reaction, you and your fellow competitors will vote on each other's submissions based on the following criteria..
1. Honesty.....just kidding!! You're all just a bunch of liars anyway.
5. Any relation to anyone really famous or super rich.
At the conclusion of the event on Oct.1, The entry/posting with the most laughing emojis wins.
In the Event of a Tie......
Once the Benfered has officially started, We will introduce you to our highly qualified judges. They will monitor the progress of the event and, in their sole discretion, issue warnings, penalties or bonus Laughing Emoji's. Their word is gospel so don't eff with them or you'll be forever banned and possibly smote. And yes, you need to have access to Facebook to compete so get some kid to hook ya up if you are too cool to be on FB but you want to compete in the Benfered. If you have grand kids and truly love them, maybe they can help.
How much is it and What ya get
Registration is $18.34. That's slightly less than 2 Six Packs of a marginal Craft IPA or an Econo/Generic Jumbo bottle of Ibuprofen.
All participants will receive an Official Benfered T-Shirt and custom Benfered metal...uh medal.
More importantly, with just one Laughing Emoji vote on your submission, you will have joined the ranks of countless liars and hucksters who have claimed to accomplished a feat that is most certainly impossible, reeking of impropriety and highly suspect.
Some tiny portion of your registration fee will be donated to one of three organizations that we have chosen to benefit from this event. They are:
Local time: 10:12 AM
1. The Flat Earth Society
2. Marathon Investigation.com
3. The RD's Weedwacker String Fund