The Last Squatch Standing
Do you wish loop races could be more like a roller derby? Do you dream about clotheslining your competition on a single-track trail when you want to pass? Thought about tripping another runner so you could finish ahead of them?
If you've ever had any of those thoughts, you'll need to practice your deep-breathing and consider carrying a stress-ball in your hydration pack because our insurance policy doesn't cover tackling, foul-play or booby-traps!
Join us on Saturday April 13, 2019 to test your speed, endurance and mental toughness as you race to be crowned THE LAST SQUATCH STANDING!
The 1-mile loop starts and finishes at the Turtleback Rock Picnic Area at the South Mountain Reservation off of Walker Road in West Orange, NJ. Complete each mile in the allotted time or get eliminated!
Check-in between 7:30am-8:30am. ALL RUNNERS MUST BE CHECKED-IN BY 8:30AM. The race starts at 9:00AM.
All runners will start every mile at the same time. If you finish the mile before the countdown timer ends, you will have to wait at the start/finish until the clock runs out and the next timer starts for the next mile.
For the first mile, the clock will countdown from 18 minutes.
1 minute will come off of the clock every mile for miles 2-7.
30 seconds will come off the clock every mile for miles 8-11.
Starting at mile 12, 15 seconds will come off of the clock every mile until we can crown "THE LAST SQUATCH STANDING”!
Plan on sticking around to enjoy the good vibes and good food. We will have a delicious post-race spread available throughout the event so when you finish racing, you can grab your post-race meal (or you can help yourself during the race if you're one of those iron-stomach runners). AND we are partnering with a few local vendors that will be providing AWESOME SWAG for a raffle that will go-on all day long! With registration you will receive raffle tickets. You (and your family and friends!) can also purchase additional tickets for the raffle (cash only). We will raffle off SWEET SWAG every couple of miles. If your ticket is called, you need to be physically present at the drawing to take home the swag, so make sure you stick around!
Now that you know the details, click register and start physically and mentally preparing! Then on April 13th, get out there and give it all you got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where you'll be when the timer runs out, but you won't smell too good, that's for sure.
The course will be marked! Run towards the baseball field and onto Hillspur trail. You'll be on this doublewide trail for 0.44 miles. Turn RIGHT onto Ravine Trail. You'll quickly make another RIGHT and hop on the ORANGE Turtleback trail. You'll take this singletrack trail back towards the start/finish. Take your first RIGHT to get back to the start/finish area. We will have a "puke chute" adjacent to the finish-line. Runners who puke on our finish-line or on our race clock will be disqualified for disorderly conduct.
Bring 1 NEW pair of socks to the race. No, this isn't Barkley; we will be hosting a sock-drive at the race! We are partnering with "Soxcess". Soxcess was created eight years ago by high school sophomore Jeremy Garriga. As a volunteer at a homeless shelter, he saw that many shelter guests were lacking basics such as new, clean socks. Soxcess was formed to provide those basics to shelters in Hudson County, NJ. Now a Seton Hall University senior, Jeremy continues to advocate for the homeless and needy people throughout the region. In seven years, Soxcess has distributed over 16,000 pair of new socks and many other basics. Along with corporate sponsors such as Bombas Socks, Target Stores, and Lush Cosmetics, Jeremy has been successful in providing donated goods to an even wider range of people and as far as Honduras. Invite your family and friends to participate in the sock-drive!
Be a hero
Join the Sassy Volunteer Squad! We need help with check-in, timing, sweeping the course and cleaning up. Register as a volunteer and we will shower you with gratitude and make sure you are well-fed all day long. Are you registered for a race that requires volunteer hours? We can sign-off on the hours that you log at the Last Squatch Standing! Volunteer to provide delicious food for our aid station and we can sign-off on your prep time! We love our volunteer team and we are always looking to add more Sassy members to the Volunteer Squad!
Q: Ok, first of all— in the race details, you said to “win just one for the Zipper.” Um, don’t you mean “Gipper”?!
A: Leg 'er down a smack 'em yak 'em!
Q:What is the 1 mile loop like?
A: I can't tell you that. It's classified.... Ok, fine-- the course is 50% doublewide trails and 50% singletrack trails. Only 61 feet of elevation. Check out the map and elevation profile up top in the picture gallery!
Q: Can I bring my dog?
A: Nope. Toto has to stay home for this race.
Q: Talk to me about the finishers' swag. What do I get to take home with me after the race?
A: Besides memories that will last a lifetime, every runner will receive a squatchtastic finishers item. We will have squatchy awards for the top male and female runners. We will conclude the event with a formal ceremony to bestow an actual gold crown on the runner who wins The Last Squatch Standing.
Q: A crown? Surely you can't be serious.
A: I am serious... And don't call me Shirley.
Q: Can I sign my kids up for The Last Squatch Standing?
A: Yes! Be sure to register your child separately and agree to the waiver for minors. And make sure to keep track of little Johnny and Suzie before during and after the race. We only have 1 search-party and they're already out there looking for Sasquatch.
Q: What's the weather like in West Orange, NJ in April?
A: Freezing cold? Sweltering hot? #globalwarming ?? Average temps are in the mid to high 50's. The Farmer's Almanac says, "April and May will be slightly rainier than normal, with near-normal temperatures." Be ready for anything.
Q: I get lost in every race. Surely there must be something you can do?
A: Dont' worry, the course will be well-marked! And stop calling me Shirley.
Q: What will you have at the aid station?
A: We'll have a wide range of items that should appeal to most runners: a cooler of water, a cooler of water + electrolytes, bananas, granola bars, pretzels, chips, PB&J etc.
Q: Is there an address I can plug into my GPS?
A: 362 Walker Road, West Orange, New Jersey
Q: I can't make it to the race, can I get a refund?
A: Sorry, but we cannot refund your registration fee.
Sassquad Trail Running
We are a community of SASQUATCH-lovin' trail runners. Our goal is to provide FUN and challenging events for a reasonable cost and a worthy cause. (We like to think that) we have a good sense of humor, a full arsenal of sarcastic wit, useless trivia facts and a deep appreciation for cinematic masterpieces (as evidenced multiple times already... HINT: this movie was nominated for a Golden Globe in 1981 for Best Motion Picture). Join the Sassquad party and sign up for one of our events! Follow us on Instagram @sassquadtrailrunning and like us on Facebook to get all of our Squatchy updates: www.facebook.com/sassquadtrailrunning
Local time: 12:43 AM