Saturday, Apr 13, 2019 @ 9:00 AM

The Last Squatch Standing

374 Walker Rd

West Orange, NJ Last man standing

This Event Took Place Sat. Apr 13, 2019


The remaining spots in the 8am competitive division are only open to women so we can have an even 50/50 roster for men and women! Ladies, please add yourself to the waitlist and we will automatically add you to the roster! Men, you can add yourself to the waitlist, too! If we get to the week before the race and those spots still aren't filled by ladies, we will open it up to the guys based on the order of the waitlist.


Important Updates (9/1/20) We just received the permit for this race! This means that we are moving forward, full-steam ahead! Our squatchtastic "Dream Team Extreme" has been tirelessly working out all of the details to make this trail party safe, fun and an all-around squatchy time. This means that we will be making some adjustments... Here are the details you need to know before you register for this trail party!
- We are limiting the capacity to 100 total runners, HOWEVER, we are offering two "heats" - 8AM and 1PM with 50 runners each
- The heats will be designated as "A" and" "B". "A" will start at 8AM and will be the "Competitive Division". "B" will start at 1PM and will be the "Nothing But Fun Division". Read the race description below for more details on the two heats.
- Because are limiting this trail party to 100 total runners, this event WILL sell-out before registration closes. (The Squatchung Surprise sold out in 26 hours!)
- We are accepting runners/hikers from any state that is NOT on the NJ Travel Advisory List. This list is updated often, so please take a look at it before you register. Non-NJ Residents who are registered for our event need to make sure their state is not on the list, the day that they travel to NJ. If you register for our race, and your state is added to the list, we will give you a 100% credit towards any 2020 or 2021 event (again, we will not offer refunds).
- Although we do not anticipate this, in the event that the county pulls the permit, we will give all pre-registered runners/hikers a 100% credit to any 2020 or 2021 Sassquad event. Please note, this means that we are not offering refunds on the non-refundable registration fee.
- The all-you-can-eat buffet, AKA Aid Station, will include all pre-packaged food. Although we don't love the waste this adds to our footprint, we are making every effort to reduce touch-points at the event. You are welcome to bring your own food/water! Our volunteers will also fill all water bottles/hydration packs for runners during the race.
- Runners/hikers will use a mask during check-in, at the start of the race and at the aid station. All runners will need to carry a mask/buff with them and should use them anytime you cannot stay 6 feet apart from other people.
- Please wait until 5 minutes before the start-time to come towards the starting line. If you are more comfortable waiting a few minutes for other runners/hikers to leave, you are more than welcome to start the race a few minutes late.
- There will be plenty of room to spread-out in the "starting corral" and you are welcome to wait a few seconds/minutes to let the crowd take-off before you start.


Do you wish loop races could be more like a roller derby? Do you dream about clotheslining your competition on a single-track trail when you want to pass? Thought about tripping another runner so you could finish ahead of them?

If you've ever had any of those thoughts, you'll need to practice your deep-breathing and consider carrying a stress-ball in your hydration pack because our insurance policy doesn't cover tackling, foul-play or booby-traps!

Join us on Saturday October 17, 2020 to test your speed, endurance and mental toughness as you race to be crowned THE LAST SQUATCH STANDING!

The 1-mile loop starts and finishes at the Turtleback Rock Picnic Area at the South Mountain Reservation off of Walker Road in West Orange, NJ. Complete each mile in the allotted time or get eliminated!


For this edition of the Last Squatch Standing, we are offering 2 different "heats" that are limited to 50 runners each. This will allow us to have more runners participate on race-day AND safetly conduct the race on the 1 mile loop.

Heat A will start at 8AM and will be the "Competitive Division". This group is for runners who are confident that they will easily make it to mile 12 and beyond, which is a 9 min 45 second pace for the start of mile 12, and the point in the race where we start taking 15 seconds off of the clock.

Heat B will start at 1PM and will be the "Nothing but Fun Division"! This heat is for runners and hikers who are ready for a good time, love the party-pace, want to push themselves but know their limit will be less than 12 miles.

Check-in between 7AM-7:30AM for the 8AM Competitive Division
Check-in between 12PM-12:30PM for the 1PM Nothing But Fun Division

All runners will start every mile at the same time. If you finish the mile before the countdown timer ends, you will have to wait at the start/finish until the clock runs out and the next timer starts for the next mile.

For the first mile, the clock will countdown from 18 minutes.
1 minute will come off of the clock every mile for miles 2-7.
30 seconds will come off the clock every mile for miles 8-11.
Starting at mile 12, 15 seconds will come off of the clock every mile until we can crown "THE LAST SQUATCH STANDING”! Each division will have top Male and Female finishers!

Now that you know the details, click register and start physically and mentally preparing! Then on October 17th, get out there and give it all you got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where you'll be when the timer runs out, but you won't smell too good, that's for sure.


The course will be marked! Run towards the baseball field and onto Hillspur trail. You'll be on this doublewide trail for 0.44 miles. Turn RIGHT onto Ravine Trail. You'll quickly make another RIGHT and hop on the ORANGE Turtleback trail. You'll take this singletrack trail back towards the start/finish. Take your first RIGHT to get back to the start/finish area. We will have a "puke chute" adjacent to the finish-line. Runners who puke on our finish-line or on our race clock will be disqualified for disorderly conduct. There are portapottys at the start/finish.


We want the WHOLE family to come out to our events! We have a special discount code for families registering 3 or more Squatches in the same household. Please email before you register so we can give you the code! Sassquad Trail Running is proud to offer 20% off all events to all active duty military and Veterans. Must provide proof of service. Please email before you register for an event so we can provide you with a discount code. NYNJ Trail Conference members can receive 10% off of registration; please email for the NYNJTC discount code!


Bring 1 NEW pair of socks to the race. No, this isn't Barkley; we will be hosting a sock-drive at the race! We are partnering with "Soxcess". Soxcess was created nine years ago by Jeremy Garriga. As a volunteer at a homeless shelter, he saw that many shelter guests were lacking basics such as new, clean socks. Soxcess was formed to provide those basics to shelters in Hudson County, NJ. Now a Seton Hall University senior, Jeremy continues to advocate for the homeless and needy people throughout the region. In seven years, Soxcess has distributed over 16,000 pair of new socks and many other basics. Along with corporate sponsors such as Bombas Socks, Target Stores, and Lush Cosmetics, Jeremy has been successful in providing donated goods to an even wider range of people and as far as Honduras. Invite your family and friends to participate in the sock-drive!


Q: Ok, first of all— in the race details, you said to “win just one for the Zipper.” Um, don’t you mean “Gipper”?!
A: Leg 'er down a smack 'em yak 'em!

Q:What is the 1 mile loop like?
A: I can't tell you that. It's classified.... Ok, fine-- the course is 50% doublewide trails and 50% singletrack trails. Only 61 feet of elevation. Check out the map and elevation profile here:

Q: Can I bring my dog?
A: Nope. Toto has to stay home for this race. Our liability insurance does not cover dogs; thank you for understanding!

Q: Talk to me about the finishers' swag. What do I get to take home with me after the race?
A: Besides memories that will last a lifetime, every runner will receive a squatchtastic finishers item. We will have squatchy awards for the top male and female runners. We will conclude the event with a formal ceremony to place actual gold crowns on the top male and female finishers heads!

Q: A crown? Surely you can't be serious.
A: I am serious... And don't call me Shirley.

Q: Can I sign my kids up for The Last Squatch Standing?
A: Yes! Be sure to register your child separately and agree to the waiver for minors. And make sure to keep track of little Johnny and Suzie before during and after the race. We only have 1 search-party and they're already out there looking for Sasquatch.

Q: What's the weather like in West Orange, NJ in April?
A: Freezing cold? Sweltering hot? #globalwarming ?? Average temps are in the mid to high 50's. The Farmer's Almanac says, "April and May will be slightly rainier than normal, with near-normal temperatures." Be ready for anything.

Q: I get lost in every race. Surely there must be something you can do?
A: Dont' worry, the course will be well-marked! And stop calling me Shirley.

Q: What will you have at the aid station?
A: We'll have a wide range of pre-packaged snacks that should appeal to most runners, plus coolers of water

Q: Is there an address I can plug into my GPS?
A: 374 Walker Road, West Orange, New Jersey

Q: I can't make it to the race, can I get a refund?
A: Sorry, but we cannot refund your non-refundable registration fee.

Q: Are there restrooms at the start/finish area?
A: There are portapottys in the parking lot next to the start/finish area.


Join the Sassy Volunteer Squad! We need help with check-in, timing, sweeping the course and cleaning up. Are you registered for a race that requires volunteer hours? We can sign-off on the hours that you log at the Last Squatch Standing! Volunteer to provide delicious food for our aid station and we can sign-off on your prep time! We love our volunteer team and we are always looking to add more Sassy members to the Volunteer Squad!


Thank you to our friends at Sneaker Factory, NJ! Sneaker Factory supports Sassquad Trail Running on and off the trails to help make the events as squatchtastic as possible! The Sneaker Factory is NJ's source for all things running: New Jersey's oldest and most well-known running store, originally opened in Millburn in 1978. Stop by one of our three convenient neighborhood locations and let us help you find the "perfect ride for every stride." Millburn, Florham Park and Basking Ridge.


We are a community of SASQUATCH-lovin' trail runners. Our goal is to provide FUN and challenging events for a reasonable cost and a worthy cause. (We like to think that) we have a good sense of humor, a full arsenal of sarcastic wit, useless trivia facts and a deep appreciation for cinematic masterpieces (as evidenced multiple times already... HINT: this movie was nominated for a Golden Globe in 1981 for Best Motion Picture). Join the Sassquad party and sign up for one of our events! Follow us on Instagram @sassquadtrailrunning and like us on Facebook to get all of our Squatchy updates:

Local time: 8:15 PM


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